Today I again started to think about my Dad's death. This brings up so much confusion and another feeling that I could not put my finger on. I feel anger, blame, fear, sorrow and still something else that just eludes me.

I just know I hurt. Hurt being an understatement. It takes great courage to admit how uncomfortable I am with death. Yes, I act like I am okay with death but truly deep down I am truly not okay with death. Why am I not okay with death?

The uncomfortableness with death shows itself with a surplus of emotion, heaviness, confusion and a feeling of disconnect from life. I am talking about real life here. The ability to live, really live. To approach life as a way to discover and grow. A grand adventure. I realised death was with me not life.

The next step for me was a deep need for nature/grass so I went and sat upon the grass. What happened next truly surprised me. My heart started to shed death. The death I was feeling was actually inside of me, in my heart and it flowed out. The death feeling simply left. Of course, I felt a little raw but the something else I felt was an aliveness.

This aliveness is what I have been seeking. It is why I studied healing and started Gentle Bear Healing. To find life. Do you realise death was a tool to help me reach for life? Sitting in the grass while talking about death healing found me and I created life. The freedom to laugh, enjoy, be real, honest and truly alive. Is that not what we all seek?

May you find what you truly seek and that which will satisfy. As always I am here at Gentle Bear Healing if you want to take a step towards life.

Blessings Kath

#death #grief #abundance #healing